We all have those days…days that we feel like a bad mom. Maybe today you fed your child Hot dogs and ketchup for dinner instead of a gourmet meal of organic grain-fed chicken, local potatoes and broccoli. Maybe you needed a few minutes to drink your lukewarm coffee so you let the little ones watch tv for half an hour or even a hour! Maybe you let little Johnny cry while you peed with the door shut. Whatever it might be, afterwards you feel like a bad mom.
Why do we do this to ourselves? Why do we let other Moms, social media or our families allow us to feel this way?
I am on a Facebook group where every so often one of the admins will post “What makes you a shitty Mom.” I have to say I love these posts. I love being able to state things that I feel are shitty. Some people will write that they vaccinate or don’t vaccinate, that they co-sleep, that they CIO, that they give their child fast food etc. I love that I can feel that I am not alone in the feelings that I have as a Mom. That 99% of the time I do what I feel is best for Monster and that 1% if I’m a bad mom then so be it. Because no Mom is ever perfect.
When I write my reasons, I also look at them and reflect why they also make me a great mom. The last time mine were: I vaccinate my child, I co-sleep, I don’t breastfeed anymore, I let my child fall to learn natural consequences. These are my bad mom vs. good mom reasons:
I vaccinate – Bad mom because who wants their child to have all those toxins in their bodies, it’s painful. Good Mom: I am preventing my child from getting horrible diseases and keeping them healthy.
I co-sleep – Bad mom because my child is in my bed almost every night, I’m smothering her, She should have her own space. Good Mom: All 3 of us get sleep at night.
No more Breastfeeding – Bad mom because babies should have breast milk until they are 2 years old according to the World Health Organization. Good Mom – I was miserable pumping, now Monster gets a happy Mommy!
Falling to learn natural consequences – Bad mom because she could get hurt, break a limb etc. Good Mom – I’m teaching Monster about spatial awareness, she’s learning what her body can and cannot do, she is learning how to push her limits. Cuts, scrapes and bruises heal!
So the next time you are having one of these “I’m a bad mom” day think about what makes you a bad mom but then think about why it also makes you an awesome Mom!